Math Humorist Gifts

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'Nobody's ordering it. With all due respect, sir-I suggest we give it an easier-to-pronounce name.'

Kid to teacher: 'I'm going to need tech support.'

Because she'd always had a crush on the handsome but stupid professor, sometimes at night she'd fix some of his more obvious computational errors.

'The 5 is silent.'

"You want proof? I'll give you proof!"

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Professor Crenshaw finally traded in his slide rule for a calculator.'

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'What's four oranges take away two oranges?'

'My husband always loves your Poisson distribution - it's something to do with being a mathematician.'

'If I threaten to bring a class action suit, will you pass me?'

"I'm sorry, Sam, but all of this doesn't add up to a hill of beans."

"What does X equal?"

Winners of the math contest for Dyscalculics

"Don't let the infinity throw you."

With the aid of an abacus, Elizabeth Barrett Browning counts the ways.

The geometry of everyday life

"How long has he been like this?"

"You know what we call a number that won't sit still?"

'We're going to need a bigger basket.'

Computation Lite, 13 Computations Than Our Regular Formulas.

"Today we're going to be studying factions."

The Pi Piper

'You'll see, it's fine all on its own, but it's also outstanding with math homework.'

"Is x the wrong angle?"

Mobius Stripper

Figure of Eight

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

'I see the problem, Gibson- you forgot to borrow from your neighbor there in step 3.'

"Actually, Dad, the 'D' in math is from when you helped me with my homework."

"Yard"

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

The Innumerate Seven

Pythagoras Revisited