Math Comedian Gifts

"Some consider me the Pollock of calculus."

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

Hexagon.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

'The batteries in my calculator just died. Good thing I kept the instructions on how to count on my fingers.'

Computation Lite, 13 Computations Than Our Regular Formulas.

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

"My homework? It was super easy today. I drew a dragon and daddy did Math."

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

Entrance code to MENSA club - 'To enter, simply type in the square root of Pi.'

How DNA molecules combine.

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Professor Crenshaw finally traded in his slide rule for a calculator.'

With the aid of an abacus, Elizabeth Barrett Browning counts the ways.

The geometry of everyday life

Mobius Comic Strip.

"Pi and mash squared please."

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

'We're going to need a bigger basket.'

'My husband always loves your Poisson distribution - it's something to do with being a mathematician.'

"I'm sorry, Sam, but all of this doesn't add up to a hill of beans."

Figure of Eight

Maths Department with sum on door sign.

"Is x the wrong angle?"

Shake well before using.

Hillary's New Math

'Everyone says 'business is business' - But has anyone ever checked the math on that?'

"You know what we call a number that won't sit still?"

"For her birthday I bought my wife an abacus...

A Wrecked-angle.

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."