Math Humor Gifts

Let's ask Square ... He always has the right angle on things.

The Broken Clock That Is Wrong Twice A Day

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

Computation Lite, 13 Computations Than Our Regular Formulas.

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

"My homework? It was super easy today. I drew a dragon and daddy did Math."

Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

Entrance code to MENSA club - 'To enter, simply type in the square root of Pi.'

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

Mobius Comic Strip.

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Professor Crenshaw finally traded in his slide rule for a calculator.'

The geometry of everyday life

With the aid of an abacus, Elizabeth Barrett Browning counts the ways.

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

"Pi and mash squared please."

'We're going to need a bigger basket.'

"Some consider me the Pollock of calculus."

'My husband always loves your Poisson distribution - it's something to do with being a mathematician.'

"I'm sorry, Sam, but all of this doesn't add up to a hill of beans."

Hexagon.

Figure of Eight

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

"You know what we call a number that won't sit still?"

'Everyone says 'business is business' - But has anyone ever checked the math on that?'

"Is x the wrong angle?"

"For her birthday I bought my wife an abacus...

Maths Department with sum on door sign.

A Wrecked-angle.

Hillary's New Math

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'