Math Jokes Gifts

We only go around once

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

Computation Lite, 13 Computations Than Our Regular Formulas.

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

"My homework? It was super easy today. I drew a dragon and daddy did Math."

Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

Entrance code to MENSA club - 'To enter, simply type in the square root of Pi.'

The geometry of everyday life

With the aid of an abacus, Elizabeth Barrett Browning counts the ways.

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Professor Crenshaw finally traded in his slide rule for a calculator.'

Mobius Comic Strip.

'We're going to need a bigger basket.'

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

"Pi and mash squared please."

"I'm sorry, Sam, but all of this doesn't add up to a hill of beans."

"Some consider me the Pollock of calculus."

'My husband always loves your Poisson distribution - it's something to do with being a mathematician.'

"Is x the wrong angle?"

Hillary's New Math

A Wrecked-angle.

"For her birthday I bought my wife an abacus...

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"Can't hear it at all, miss."

"You know what we call a number that won't sit still?"

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

Hexagon.

Figure of Eight

'Everyone says 'business is business' - But has anyone ever checked the math on that?'

'Assuming, of course, that a woodchuck could chuck wood.'

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

"How do we know this isn't a ponzi scheme?"