Math Joke Enjoyer Gifts

When statisticians argue.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

Computation Lite, 13 Computations Than Our Regular Formulas.

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

Entrance code to MENSA club - 'To enter, simply type in the square root of Pi.'

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

With the aid of an abacus, Elizabeth Barrett Browning counts the ways.

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Professor Crenshaw finally traded in his slide rule for a calculator.'

The geometry of everyday life

Mobius Comic Strip.

"I'm sorry, Sam, but all of this doesn't add up to a hill of beans."

'My husband always loves your Poisson distribution - it's something to do with being a mathematician.'

"For her birthday I bought my wife an abacus...

'Everyone says 'business is business' - But has anyone ever checked the math on that?'

A Wrecked-angle.

Figure of Eight

"Is x the wrong angle?"

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

"Can't hear it at all, miss."

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"You know what we call a number that won't sit still?"

'Assuming, of course, that a woodchuck could chuck wood.'

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

Zorro does algebra.

"How do we know this isn't a ponzi scheme?"

"I just couldn't conjure up the answers."