Math Joke Fan Gifts

"How do we know this isn't a ponzi scheme?"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

Computation Lite, 13 Computations Than Our Regular Formulas.

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

Entrance code to MENSA club - 'To enter, simply type in the square root of Pi.'

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Professor Crenshaw finally traded in his slide rule for a calculator.'

The geometry of everyday life

Mobius Comic Strip.

With the aid of an abacus, Elizabeth Barrett Browning counts the ways.

'We're going to need a bigger basket.'

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

Ace Borrowing Company (formerly Ace Loan Company)

"Pi and mash squared please."

'My husband always loves your Poisson distribution - it's something to do with being a mathematician.'

"I'm sorry, Sam, but all of this doesn't add up to a hill of beans."

"Can't hear it at all, miss."

A Wrecked-angle.

"Is x the wrong angle?"

"You know what we call a number that won't sit still?"

'Everyone says 'business is business' - But has anyone ever checked the math on that?'

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"For her birthday I bought my wife an abacus...

Figure of Eight

Hillary's New Math

'Assuming, of course, that a woodchuck could chuck wood.'

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

'...based on the premise that 6X3=47...'

Psychiatric Clinic. Take a Number. 27. "Take a number"? --- But I have math anxiety.

'Math would be more fun if we weren't always studying pyramids.'

Let's ask Square ... He always has the right angle on things.