Reluctant Adulting Gifts

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

The Amazing Man-Spider

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

Three kids in a trench coat, twenty years later.

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'Where Are They Now?'

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'Studies show that most boys my age don't like to read. Who am I to tamper with statistics?'

Scared 26 year old

"Awake and doing great"

'Liquor will solve this problem, chief!'

'I don't want to go school shopping! Can't you just buy stuff for me?. . .Just get me more of this in the next size up!'

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

How to injury yourself as an adult

Secrets of Adulthood.

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

Beware... the Piñata of Adulthood

"I know it hurts, Henry, but sooner of later everybody has to condo the home he grew up in."

"You're going to the Partner's Social whether you like it or not!"

"This can't be happening! I'm supposed to be a cool adult! At least I bet I have a cool car!"

"She stood me up. I hosed off my Crocs for nothing."

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this committee.'

"Life is full of transitions...like from student loan to credit card debt."

Rex grits his teeth, puts on his big boy pantaloons and gears up for the day ahead.

"It's just now starting to get comfortable. Why would I want to buy a new chair?"

Why men hate shopping.

"Sure, he's ascended to a god-like state. But from what I hear, he's still on his family's cell phone plan."