Reluctant Upgrader Gifts

"It's just now starting to get comfortable. Why would I want to buy a new chair?"

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

"I don't see any reason to change, if it ain't broke and all that!"

'Studies show that most boys my age don't like to read. Who am I to tamper with statistics?'

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

“Okay, Cindy, don’t think of it as learning ... think of it as a software upgrade!”

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

'I don't want to go school shopping! Can't you just buy stuff for me?. . .Just get me more of this in the next size up!'

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

"Just saying, if you can't trust your software upgrades, what can you trust?"

'I'm sorry I didn't come to work yesterday, sir -- somehow, it seemed like Sunday.'

Sundayafternoon Carpenters

"It's quite alright searching for the perfect phone. But remember there always will be upgrades."

"Enjoy my first day at school? You mean there'll be others?"

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"

Hunting - Man asked to go hunting by his wife

"Digital? We're not even cable ready!"

Summer Reading

Why men hate shopping.

"Wherever he is, I know he'll be upgraded."

'Who cares where Waldo is?'

Man Readig Paper

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

"I'm writing a book on everything I don't know about technology. It's a lot longer than I originally thought."

'You can't do this to me, Arlene! -- I'm not the outdoorsy TYPE!'

"Every year it's the same story...dangerous situations. Slippery slopes. Inescapable traps. Horrible creatures. But I trudge forward because no matter what...it's hard to avoid the first day of school."

'Don't worry, Mom - I'll do my book report during the next commercial.'

"Sorry, I can't make it tonight - I have too good a parking sport."

"We just weren't compatible.Her body-clock was telling her to settle down and have kids,and mine was telling me that the pub was open."

"Frank's trying to outreach to people who only come to the library to use the washroom!"