Reluctant Technophile Gifts

"Digital? We're not even cable ready!"

Grandma's caf

High speed cinder block

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"GPS? In my day, a newcomer learned to find his cubicle by memory."

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"Fifty years in academia, studying, researching, writing and teaching. And what do they call me? ‘The Human AI’."

"Hey! Get back here!"

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

Domestic Spying Drones

"Tarzan no want computer."

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

Pensioners and Phones

"Somewhere along the line the world got a whole lot dorkier."

If They See Something, They Do Something — To You

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

'To be honest, I'm having trouble keeping up with all this new technology.'

"Tech Savvy? No. Is there any call for regular savvy?"

'...one kilobyte of idiot.'

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

'The professor can read hieroglyphics on ruins and in tombs but he can't read text messages on his cell phone.'

Red indians kept in touch with home without the aid of mobile phones.

'As usual, tech support is busy.'

"I'm meeting with Thor for drinks. He doesn't zoom.

"I'm writing a book on everything I don't know about technology. It's a lot longer than I originally thought."

"Can you give me your Christmas list on a regular sheet of paper? I don't know how to open the word document you emailed me."

'The Comedy of Computer Errors.'

'Looks good on paper. Let's scan it in and see how it looks on the screen.'

'Let a computer answer it.'

"No cell phone, no e-mails... boy, I've never felt so free1"

"Technology moving too fast."

Obscenity-recognition software. It's for people who hate computers, but have to use them.

"I think it's time my grandpa upgraded his keyboard."

'Letters, letters, letters - why can't you learn to text?'

'I don't have e-mail or fax, not even a computer...if you haven't already guessed, I'm still living in the typewriter age.'