Technophobe Gifts

Salesman to computer buyer: 'It's a very user-friendly model.'

'The Comedy of Computer Errors.'

'Have you ever thought of having yourself digitally restored?'

"Curse this productive text ..."

'Looks good on paper. Let's scan it in and see how it looks on the screen.'

'He'll never switch to digital because he doesn't believe in pixels.'

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

'Although my hands do get dried out, a chalk holder is not for me. I have technophobia.'

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

"I think it's time my grandpa upgraded his keyboard."

"Technology moving too fast."

"GPS? In my day, a newcomer learned to find his cubicle by memory."

"You'll have to call me on my landline. I'm a low-tech person through and through."

"It's called a book, Kevin. You'll probably find that turning the page works better than swiping."

Grandpa Billy never did understand how you can listen to music using ear spuds.

"No cell phone, no e-mails... boy, I've never felt so free1"

"Wait, you can recharge them?"

"Can you give me your Christmas list on a regular sheet of paper? I don't know how to open the word document you emailed me."

"Tarzan no want computer."

'When did our hatred of technology turn into hating each other?'

'I don't have e-mail or fax, not even a computer...if you haven't already guessed, I'm still living in the typewriter age.'

Grandma's caf

'Let's keep this friendly, Crenshaw. I'm coming in without my laptop.'

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

"I was trying to send a text message, but I think I bombed a terrorist camp with a remote control drone."

"I don't care if it's a charging station with wifi capabilities. I just want a toaster."

"It's Amish."

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

High speed cinder block

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"Hey! Get back here!"

'You know, it's kind of nice turning off the sound, turning on closed caption, and listening to piano music.'

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple