Tech Phobe Gifts

'Sorry - I've deleted you,'

Grandma's caf

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

High speed cinder block

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"GPS? In my day, a newcomer learned to find his cubicle by memory."

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"He said his screen is frozen again."

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

"Hey! Get back here!"

"Tarzan no want computer."

Luddite Zoom.

'You know, it's kind of nice turning off the sound, turning on closed caption, and listening to piano music.'

Pensioners and Phones

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

EEEEEEEEEEEE-Mail

"In my experience, there's nothing good at the end of a trail like this."

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

'...one kilobyte of idiot.'

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

"It happens every time we get a new piece of equipment...He won't invest the time to study the instructions and it ends in disaster."

"I'm meeting with Thor for drinks. He doesn't zoom.

"Can you give me your Christmas list on a regular sheet of paper? I don't know how to open the word document you emailed me."

'The professor can read hieroglyphics on ruins and in tombs but he can't read text messages on his cell phone.'

'Dad's not getting the hang of the new technology, is he?'

'The Comedy of Computer Errors.'

"Some people are reluctant to accept change."

'Looks good on paper. Let's scan it in and see how it looks on the screen.'

Grandpa Billy never did understand how you can listen to music using ear spuds.

'I don't have e-mail or fax, not even a computer...if you haven't already guessed, I'm still living in the typewriter age.'

"I think it's time my grandpa upgraded his keyboard."

"No cell phone, no e-mails... boy, I've never felt so free1"

'Letters, letters, letters - why can't you learn to text?'

"Technology moving too fast."