Technophobia Gifts

'You know, it's kind of nice turning off the sound, turning on closed caption, and listening to piano music.'

Grandma's caf

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

High speed cinder block

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"GPS? In my day, a newcomer learned to find his cubicle by memory."

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

"He said his screen is frozen again."

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

"Hey! Get back here!"

"Tarzan no want computer."

Pensioners and Phones

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

'He used to think, now he just googles everything.'

EEEEEEEEEEEE-Mail

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

'It's in my resume. I don't do computer windows.'

Invention of the Toilet

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

"What's wrong with the computer you've got?"

"Can you give me your Christmas list on a regular sheet of paper? I don't know how to open the word document you emailed me."

'Dad's not getting the hang of the new technology, is he?'

"I'm meeting with Thor for drinks. He doesn't zoom.

'The Comedy of Computer Errors.'

"Some people are reluctant to accept change."

'Looks good on paper. Let's scan it in and see how it looks on the screen.'

"You're a great plummer, but those skills won't help you with fixing you computer. So put the plunger away and call a professional."

"I think it's time my grandpa upgraded his keyboard."

"Your 'Luddite Fund' is up 20% this year, but its Yelp reviews are very negative."

"No cell phone, no e-mails... boy, I've never felt so free1"

"Technology moving too fast."

'I don't have e-mail or fax, not even a computer...if you haven't already guessed, I'm still living in the typewriter age.'