Frustrated Technophobe Gifts

"Hey! Get back here!"

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

Grandma's caf

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

High speed cinder block

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"GPS? In my day, a newcomer learned to find his cubicle by memory."

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"Tarzan no want computer."

"A watched file never loads..."

'You know, it's kind of nice turning off the sound, turning on closed caption, and listening to piano music.'

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

Pensioners and Phones

STRIP Hambone: "System been down long?"

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

In case of computer breakdown break glass

"Digital? We're not even cable ready!"

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

'I know the computer's slow, but this really isn't a better way to enter data.'

"My computer crashed. . . to the ground when I got frustrated and threw it out the window."

'...one kilobyte of idiot.'

"Can you give me your Christmas list on a regular sheet of paper? I don't know how to open the word document you emailed me."

"These kid computer games are so hard to learn that I've decided to skip my second childhood."

'The Comedy of Computer Errors.'

'Looks good on paper. Let's scan it in and see how it looks on the screen.'

"I think it's time my grandpa upgraded his keyboard."

"No cell phone, no e-mails... boy, I've never felt so free1"

'I don't have e-mail or fax, not even a computer...if you haven't already guessed, I'm still living in the typewriter age.'

"Technology moving too fast."

'Forgive me father, for I've been faking computer literacy.'

"You're a great plummer, but those skills won't help you with fixing you computer. So put the plunger away and call a professional."