Frustrated Technophile Gifts

"I asked our tech support to escalate me to the next level...they transferred me to a suicide hotline!"

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Grandma's caf

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

High speed cinder block

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"GPS? In my day, a newcomer learned to find his cubicle by memory."

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

"Hey! Get back here!"

"After 10 broken keyboards, I finally bought him one that's designed for someone who bangs on it when they're mad."

"Tarzan no want computer."

The guy who took a wrong turn off the electronic superhighway and wound up in a microwave oven in Davenport, Iowa.

"A watched file never loads..."

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

STRIP Hambone: "System been down long?"

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

In case of computer breakdown break glass

"Digital? We're not even cable ready!"

'And you get this free.'

'Are you sure that hitting it with a baseball bat will work?'

STRIP Hambone: Techinical support in layman's terms #2

'...one kilobyte of idiot.'

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

"My computer crashed. . . to the ground when I got frustrated and threw it out the window."

'I know the computer's slow, but this really isn't a better way to enter data.'

"These kid computer games are so hard to learn that I've decided to skip my second childhood."

'As usual, tech support is busy.'

"I'm meeting with Thor for drinks. He doesn't zoom.

"Can you give me your Christmas list on a regular sheet of paper? I don't know how to open the word document you emailed me."

'Don't get smart with me!'

'Blasted caller ID! I can't get through to anybody!'

'The Comedy of Computer Errors.'

'Looks good on paper. Let's scan it in and see how it looks on the screen.'