Frustrated Techies Gifts

Two week's rehearsing vicious phone revenge were just sucked dry by 5 minutes of menu options.

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"After 10 broken keyboards, I finally bought him one that's designed for someone who bangs on it when they're mad."

"Hey! Get back here!"

"A watched file never loads..."

"But you said that to make it start, I had to 'Boot it up'!"

Computers. Tablets. Laptops. The model is entirely voice-activated. I've always wanted to tell a computer "off."

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

STRIP Hambone: "System been down long?"

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

"I miss the old days."

'I was given a ton of great career advice when I graduated from college. Unfortunately, I can't remember any of it because my entire brain is filled with passwords and PIN numbers.'

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

'And you get this free.'

Love Hate Computer Relationship

In case of computer breakdown break glass

'Are you sure that hitting it with a baseball bat will work?'

'I'm worried, the software that can replace me is becoming more affordable.'

STRIP Hambone: Techinical support in layman's terms #2

"My computer crashed. . . to the ground when I got frustrated and threw it out the window."

"They call it the Cloud. No wonder I Can't find anything in it."

'I know the computer's slow, but this really isn't a better way to enter data.'

"These kid computer games are so hard to learn that I've decided to skip my second childhood."

We know your e-mail address!

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

'Blasted caller ID! I can't get through to anybody!'

'Don't get smart with me!'

"Save! Save! "

"Every time I say this computer is supposed to be 'user friendly', it lets out an evil laugh."

"How the heck do I know what the password is? That's just a line of flippin' dots!"

"You feel like throwing your computer out the window? Sure, as long as it's fully depreciated!"

"I asked our tech support to escalate me to the next level...they transferred me to a suicide hotline!"

'He's rebooting the computer '