Frustrated Tech Users Gifts

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"Hey! Get back here!"

"After 10 broken keyboards, I finally bought him one that's designed for someone who bangs on it when they're mad."

"If the jumper cables don't work, I'll pour more motor oil on the keys."

"A watched file never loads..."

"But you said that to make it start, I had to 'Boot it up'!"

STRIP Hambone: "System been down long?"

Love Hate Computer Relationship

A businessman suffering from data overload.

In case of computer breakdown break glass

'And you get this free.'

'Are you sure that hitting it with a baseball bat will work?'

STRIP Hambone: Techinical support in layman's terms #2

"My computer crashed. . . to the ground when I got frustrated and threw it out the window."

"They call it the Cloud. No wonder I Can't find anything in it."

'I know the computer's slow, but this really isn't a better way to enter data.'

"These kid computer games are so hard to learn that I've decided to skip my second childhood."

"What a time for it to go on the bunk!"

'Blasted caller ID! I can't get through to anybody!'

'Don't get smart with me!'

"How the heck do I know what the password is? That's just a line of flippin' dots!"

"Save! Save! "

"Every time I say this computer is supposed to be 'user friendly', it lets out an evil laugh."

"You feel like throwing your computer out the window? Sure, as long as it's fully depreciated!"

Finally, as one Systems Designer to another....

"I asked our tech support to escalate me to the next level...they transferred me to a suicide hotline!"

'He's rebooting the computer '

'If you want to pay your bill, press one. If you want to discuss your bill, press two. If you're frustrated because you can't just talk to a living, breathing, human being, press three.'

"If I have an inner child, I hope he comes out and helps me with my computer problem."

Regretting buying a computer from a franchise rather than a local store.

'His pacemaker keeps opening and shutting the garage door.'

Curse my hooves, and predictive text!