Frustrated Techie Gifts

STRIP Hambone: "System been down long?"

"You feel like throwing your computer out the window? Sure, as long as it's fully depreciated!"

'I know the computer's slow, but this really isn't a better way to enter data.'

"My computer crashed. . . to the ground when I got frustrated and threw it out the window."

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

So what seems to be the problem?

Regretting buying a computer from a franchise rather than a local store.

'Well it wasn't obsolete when I started trying to get through to your helpline.'

"A watched file never loads..."

"These kid computer games are so hard to learn that I've decided to skip my second childhood."

"If I have an inner child, I hope he comes out and helps me with my computer problem."

In case of computer breakdown break glass

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"Hey! Get back here!"

"After 10 broken keyboards, I finally bought him one that's designed for someone who bangs on it when they're mad."

Computers. Tablets. Laptops. The model is entirely voice-activated. I've always wanted to tell a computer "off."

"I miss the old days."

'And you get this free.'

"Sorry, but road rage is next door. This room is for people who get frustrated with their compute and take it out on their keyboards."

'Are you sure that hitting it with a baseball bat will work?'

STRIP Hambone: Techinical support in layman's terms #2

"They call it the Cloud. No wonder I Can't find anything in it."

Divorce lawyer "Then it's final, you get the computer as you requested and your wifes gets the house, car and everything else"

"I'm writing a book on everything I don't know about technology. It's a lot longer than I originally thought."

'Blasted caller ID! I can't get through to anybody!'

'Don't get smart with me!'

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

"We are currently experiencing an unusually high volume of calls and all our advisers are busy..."

Obscenity-recognition software. It's for people who hate computers, but have to use them.

You ready? You betcha. J-Lo will have a love child with Alan Greenspan, then cure male-pattern baldness. From the files of: It could happen in 2021. Technical support will answer the phone.

"How the heck do I know what the password is? That's just a line of flippin' dots!"

"Every time I say this computer is supposed to be 'user friendly', it lets out an evil laugh."

"Save! Save! "

"I asked our tech support to escalate me to the next level...they transferred me to a suicide hotline!"

'He's rebooting the computer '