Frustrated Tech Tinkerer Gifts

'Are you sure that hitting it with a baseball bat will work?'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Computer Room.

The Computer Bore

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Early cyborg.

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

The Not-So Smart Meter

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

Gadget geek.

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

"We do all those old tricks electronically now."

Bicycle sat nav.

"No, it's not a bug. Since you keep losing you phone, I purchased you a phone-locating drone."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Fixing the Computer.

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Behold! My greatest improvement to fatherhood. She cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids, burps, and farts. What's more...she self-identifies as a father!"

Edison invents the personal stereo

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

Do you have a phone with recording capabilities? I want to be able to carry a wire when I meet with my boss.

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

"Baldo, why don't you turn that computer off and do something else?"

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."