Senior Spirit Gifts

'What do you mean - I'm too old and, the good times are all behind me?'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

"...Ooh, I wanna know more about your dark side!"

Senior Jeopardy!

". . . and now it's his memory. Three times on Saturday he asked me what day it was. Or did I already tell you that earlier?"

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

'The mask?... Oh, I always try to obscure my face a little, at parties. Just to give the other guys a fighting chance.'

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"As you can see from the books behind me, I pretend to read a lot of books."

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

Bishop with a crozier case.

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

"Marie, are you still driving?"

Future Old People

'Meaning of life, eh? -- Who wants to know?'

"The trouble with children is they don't act like adults."

Distilleries Association

'How many potatoes to make a bottle of vodka?.'

'Ferguson always was an overachiever.'

I like having an older doctor. He understands my ailments and has most of em!

"Welcome to your new home, Dad."

'Your eyesight is only 20/400, but your insight is fantastic!'

'Aim for those kids that were laughing at us on our way up!'

Elderly religious cleric takes stair lift up the temple.

'Let's face it, Old Simkins is well past his 'best before' date...'

"Well, you asked for a sign!"

'Maybe this would work better if we tried exinguishing each OTHER'S egos.'

"It's arthritis. Probably caused from clinging to life."