Saintly Spirit Gifts

'Ferguson always was an overachiever.'

Tiny Visions

"It's true: no more burpees."

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

"You've been served."

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'

'I'm good. How are you?'

"I'm going to have to make this quick, God. I just ask that you watch over me during my double knee replacement tomorrow."

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

For services to Tourism. . .

"Hmmm...says here that you were in charge of your church's Puppet Ministry."

"I brought it for you because I love you."

Saint Gustaf, patron of pranksters and practical jokers. Martyred by angry mob in 725.

'I'm real sorry. It was all the 'blonde' jokes you told.'

"Enjoy your youth. Soon you'll be an old cynic like me with nothing worth barking at."

Praying.

'Ferguson always was an overachiever.'

'As your Guardian Angel, I want you to know that death is not anything to worry about.'

Ballet Birthday

Holy monk.

"I'm afraid we don't accept bribes here, sir."

Praying monk with steeple hands.

California: In Case of Fire Break Glass and Dial A Prayer.

"You have a mask?"

Pray now - Go later.

Proposed solution to repugnant and obsolete St. Patrick's Day parade: add more saints.

'Answer me! It's your mother! Don't give me that vow of silence!'

"Our religious friends are praying, our atheist friends are sending good thoughts, and our lawyer friends are figuring out who to sue."

Singing Father Christmases.