Retired Gifts

Bumper Stickers for Seniors.

"He's auditioning for a part in 'Conan The Octagenarian'."

Retired man sits surrounded by chairs - 'He really misses the commuting'

Sinister birdfeeder

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

"I hope you've come home with something for your wind."

"Good game."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Lady of the Cake.

'Not that net!'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

"Feel free to take notes."

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

Allotment

"Your contents have shifted."

The Solitary 'Pleasure' Fisherman whose one desire is to get away from it all.

'Life is great' down on the farm.

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"