Retail Raconteur Gifts

''Sorry, we get no demand for it'- if I've said that once today, I've said it a hundred times!'

As complaints man bursts into tears, manager comments; 'I guess Hopkins is due for a transfer!'

'Listen sonny, if it weren't for complainers like me you would be out of a job,'

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

Harold Was Done Asking Customers About Their Day

'Sorry, the bag boy's down with the flu,'

'Mister Nooka, taking over the frozen food division.'

The Busy Body Shop - All the latest gossip.

'Let's send her a text message; 'You're FIRED!''

We just work here, & don't pass hidden cost unto anybody!

"This year, everybody's getting a Christmas bonus! But for me to afford the bonus...we have to stay open on Christmas day... Be here at 9."

"Trainee lesson no. 1...if you look busy, no one will bother you."

Larry's used art

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

A women in a shoeshop.

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"How was work?"

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'I'd like to return this, please.'

Myths and legends...

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

How Amazon was invented

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

Hardy Annuals

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."