Reel Raconteur Gifts

"You bet I had it mounted, it gave me the best fight of my life."

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

'Let's send her a text message; 'You're FIRED!''

Non Thought For The Day.

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

Coffee Shop and Battery Charging Station

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

'I got caught in a blogstorm.'

'Are you blind ref?'

"I'll need a three iron."

Beware of the Blog.

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

How Platypuses Are Born

"You misinterpreted the news. I've simply had a terrific autumn."

The world's oldest braided rug

Harold Was Done Asking Customers About Their Day

Crime and punishment - football.

Robot asking for money in bar code language.

'I can't do that project --- tweeting is taking up my life.'

'Mister Nooka, taking over the frozen food division.'

Railroad Crossing. It's the last official weekend of the summer, Ernie. For me, summer has always been like a passing train. When I was a kid, both trains and summer went by at a leisurely pace. Ding! Ding! Ding! Now that I'm much older, summer is like a modern bullet train ... it's just a blur that seems to be gone in an instant!

'Sorry, the bag boy's down with the flu,'

Dear Diary...Royal Diary

'When did I first start rambling? Well, it's a long story...'

"My grant is somewhat restrictive. I have to work only with even numbers."

'Suspence, intrigue, deceit, vice...the annual report.'

'Well yes there was life before television but it didn't amount to much. . .'

'I get a lot of chit-chat type email gossip and I love to spread it around with a cellphone!'

Nethead strip: Long lost cousin

In their secret campaign to enslave humanity, the machines make their first big misstep with Artificial Sincerity.