Restless Pet Owner Gifts

'My life is worse than yours' (24 hour pet supplies)

'Fetch.'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Biofelineism

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

'Super Dog'

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

Cat in Tree.

Cat Show

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

he used to belong to a cartoonist

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

"C'mon already...that lipstick really isn't my shade."

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

The best relationships are silent.

'And this is scraps.'

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

Pet Pony

'He's an octopussy. They're specially bred to catch over 100 mice an hour.'

K9 Literati.

'Walking your pet amoeba again, Henry?'

"It's just until he gets over his laryngitis."

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'

'No, that isn't my slippers either! Try again.'

'Last year's 'Bring your pet to work day' turned out very well.'

'I'm sure he thinks he's a parrot!'

'When you said you were a bee keeper...'