Irreverent Pet Owner Gifts

101 uses of a dead cat: skis.

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

Seagiraffes

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

'Fetch.'

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Biofelineism

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"And where have you previously moused?"

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Dog Nightmares

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Haute Suture

'Super Dog'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.