Anxious Pet Owner Gifts

Don't Get Involved...

'Fetch.'

Biofelineism

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

Cat in Tree.

Cat Show

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

he used to belong to a cartoonist

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

'And this is scraps.'

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

'He's an octopussy. They're specially bred to catch over 100 mice an hour.'

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

'Walking your pet amoeba again, Henry?'

'Last year's 'Bring your pet to work day' turned out very well.'

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'

'No, that isn't my slippers either! Try again.'

'My dog is terrified of strangers. would you be a dear and wear this outfit while you're working here?'

'I'm sure he thinks he's a parrot!'

'It's the only way I can wash him.'

"Such a cute little thing-what do you call it?"

'Russell, it's not necessary to take the goldfish out for a walk.'

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

"We’re trying to inject a little pastoralism into our lives."

Zack Brillard and Live-In Companion

'When you said you were a bee keeper...'

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'