Lazy Pet Owner Gifts

"It requires so much less work than a dog."

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

"I need motivation."

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

"He won't wait for me to open the can."

"So what do you plan on accomplishing today?"

"Enough with the criticism!"

'These elevators are slow, but it sure beats flying.'

'He's marvellous in the kitchen. every night he does all the washing up and licks my cooker clean.'

'Whaddya mean, 'cat-sized'???'

'He's the laziest dog I've ever seen.'

Man has a can of tuna in his fish bowl.

'And you can't remember why you tied a knot in your snake?'

'I don't like vegetables, so when I grow up, can I be a couch donut?'

'Gerald now does everything on his 'human transporter' - including mowing the lawn.'

'My life is worse than yours' (24 hour pet supplies)

'They want me to exercise- so get me a squirrel to chase.'

"Hurry up, Al. I gotta pee."

"I wish my father was alive to see how lazy I could really be."

'What does he do for a living? Well, he breathes!'

'He gets all his exercise watching the sports channel.'

"Baldo, put your clothes in the hamper."

"All right, all right – I think I’ve sufficiently indulged the precepts of this ‘walk.’"