Restless Pet Owner Pillows

'My life is worse than yours' (24 hour pet supplies)

'Fetch.'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Biofelineism

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

'Super Dog'

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

Cat in Tree.

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

he used to belong to a cartoonist

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

Pet Pony

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

K9 Literati.

'And this is scraps.'

"C'mon already...that lipstick really isn't my shade."

The best relationships are silent.

'Walking your pet amoeba again, Henry?'

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'

'No, that isn't my slippers either! Try again.'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

"It's just until he gets over his laryngitis."

'Last year's 'Bring your pet to work day' turned out very well.'

Zack Brillard and Live-In Companion

'I'm sure he thinks he's a parrot!'

'Russell, it's not necessary to take the goldfish out for a walk.'