Restaurant Revolutionary Gifts

Please note that our menu items have changed. For starters, press or say 1. For main courses, press or say 2. For desserts, ..........'

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

Pets are reading the book 'Animal Farm'.

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Fresh pepper spray?"

DOWN WITH THE KING!, 'Do you know what the PENALTY is for disturbing the peace during wartime?'

Will rule with iron fist for food.

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

"Give him his food."

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

'Good thing you ordered a double portion.'

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

"I can't have anything that's a food."

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

'I recommend the catch-of-the-day. Beats the hell out of just-washed-ashore.'

Alexei Kosygin

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

"Veal or non-veal?"

"He's a fussy eater."

"This time, let's not just fill up on bread."

'Red or white wine with fish?' 'They're dead. They don't care.'

Let them eat cake!

"I can highly recommend the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, served with a chilled glass of milk."

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'

'This meat is off, bring me the manager.'- 'Sure, would you like him fried or boiled?'

'That's Fred, the new hire. He's one of those corporate renaissance types who erases organization-chart boundaries wherever he goes!'

One after another