Restaurant Revolutionary Pillows

Please note that our menu items have changed. For starters, press or say 1. For main courses, press or say 2. For desserts, ..........'

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

Pets are reading the book 'Animal Farm'.

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

Will rule with iron fist for food.

"Fresh pepper spray?"

DOWN WITH THE KING!, 'Do you know what the PENALTY is for disturbing the peace during wartime?'

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

'Good thing you ordered a double portion.'

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"Give him his food."

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

"I can't have anything that's a food."

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

'This meat is off, bring me the manager.'- 'Sure, would you like him fried or boiled?'

'Red or white wine with fish?' 'They're dead. They don't care.'

'I recommend the catch-of-the-day. Beats the hell out of just-washed-ashore.'

Alexei Kosygin

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

"Veal or non-veal?"

"I can highly recommend the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, served with a chilled glass of milk."

"This time, let's not just fill up on bread."

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'

Let them eat cake!

"He's a fussy eater."

'That's Fred, the new hire. He's one of those corporate renaissance types who erases organization-chart boundaries wherever he goes!'

One after another

"We'll get your food going as soon as the exterminators are done in the kitchen."