Retail Revolutionary Gifts

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

Larry's used art

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

A women in a shoeshop.

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'I'd like to return this, please.'

Hardy Annuals

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

How Amazon was invented

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

D.I.Y

Sale.

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

"Where can I find the lefts?"

'Let's send her a text message; 'You're FIRED!''

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

Berries, Roots, Tubers, Stems, Leaves.

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."