Retail Revivalist Gifts

Brick and Mortar

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

'A 50's vintage automobile...a billiards room. YOu, my firend, have got it all.'

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

Pirates at the mall.

"Za Za Bling Bling goes man hunting."

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

"Unfortunately, father never quite got over being asked to reform the band for Live Aid in the '80s."

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

Innovate or die.

'It's official. We replace the words worn-out, old-fashion, and obsolete with classic, vintage and retro.'

Mick Jagger.

"And this model features a nifty, manual back-up device."

'Let's give it a whirl. Swing is back!'

Michelangelo's David

'He's a square!'

"This is one of those subway stations they've restored to their original state."

How Gary got his groove back.

"So the rumors are true-1967 is making a comeback."

Don't make me look! How do you like my prom dress? Don't make me look! Chill, dad, it's Nana's old dress. It isn't revealing, Honey. It's no the old dress. It's my old little girl I can't look at!

Old songs made new

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

Hang it all; let's be gay. Come and find the phonograph.