Corporate Revivalist Gifts

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

"I remember him before he was getting hte winter fuel allowance."

Anti stress week: For God sake don't miss it!!

'I hear they're letting you go. Your family must have paid the ransom.'

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'Mr. Barnes was going to interview you for the job, until he realized you were actually expecting financial compensation, benefits and vacation time.'

'I like thinking inside the box.'

"I've brought companies back from the brink of disaster before Phil, but to bring one back from the dead? I'm still patting myself on the back over that one!"

"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."

'I've fired the entire company except you, Jerkins. You'll have more work without pay, but you do have job security.'

'This doesn't look good.'

Brick and Mortar

Michelangelo's David

'That's Fred, the new hire. He's one of those corporate renaissance types who erases organization-chart boundaries wherever he goes!'

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

Beached Whales

'Gentlemen, we make money the old-fashioned way, and it's got to STOP!'

'Hey, we're in style!'

Gallery of Modern Art: Mona Listens

"The only time I let my staff show fear is when they're trying to save their jobs."

Painting Mona Lisa.

"On my right is Mr. Darius, who'll fill you in on our corporate counterculture."

"Big raise!"

Jean Goujon

The Arnolfini Marriage

'Without government help we can forget about the extra large directors' chairs.'

Michelangelo's Creation of Adam

And remember son, never take your grandfather's picture down from the boardroom - it's bugged.

"Vinyl records? Actually, wax cylinders are where it's at now."

"Put your fears to rest. We won't be reducing any personnel, just salaries."

"Oh, and Botticelli. Botticelli would probably have been a great filmmaker."

The pros and cons of dismissal (share prices).

"See, son? Daddy's company makes inhalers to help people with asthma."