Retail Revivalist T-Shirts

Brick and Mortar

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

'A 50's vintage automobile...a billiards room. YOu, my firend, have got it all.'

Pirates at the mall.

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

"Za Za Bling Bling goes man hunting."

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

"Unfortunately, father never quite got over being asked to reform the band for Live Aid in the '80s."

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

Innovate or die.

'It's official. We replace the words worn-out, old-fashion, and obsolete with classic, vintage and retro.'

"And this model features a nifty, manual back-up device."

"This is one of those subway stations they've restored to their original state."

How Gary got his groove back.

"So the rumors are true-1967 is making a comeback."

Old songs made new

Michelangelo's David

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

Hang it all; let's be gay. Come and find the phonograph.

Solar Flares