Religious Educator Gifts

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'They belong to that Christian school.'

'Who knocked down the walls of Jericho.'

SUNDAY SCHOOL, 'Before we go any further with this, does it have a happy ending?'

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

"Did he say 'commandments' or 'suggestions'?"

"No, no, I said Bathsheba!"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"What does God do with all that prayer data?"

"No, Bobby, Moses did not DOWNLOAD the 10 commandments!"

'Could you straighten my little brother out? -- he has the Trinity mixed up with the Three Stooges.'

'These, you realize, are just the high points....'

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

'Neat! - This sounds like superhero stuff!'

'They must be a Christian school...'

"We learned in Sunday School today about how Adam and Eve got downsized!"

'I liked the loaves he gave out last week better. The ones with the little poppy seeds.'

"I still think they paid Goliath to take a dive."

"I'll turn this exodus around if I have to."

Jonah met a strange wooden boy in the belly of the whale.

Religious Instruction ?

Who was the strongest man in history? Jonah, even a whale couldn't keep him down!

Benediction

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

"Oh that's a missionary school."

Confessional bathroom

"Is that why Jesus said, 'Peter, you are the rock and on this rock I will build my Church'?"

"Sorry, but you didn't purchase the extended warranty that covered Hebrews."

"So why did Noah have to build an ark?"

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

The chosen few

"Not sure that's the graven image of Baal we were looking for."