Religious Education Teacher Gifts

"You. You. And you."

'Please Miss, if God created everything why did he create atheism?'

Violence in schools has increased

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

Guru.

Moses as a child.

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

'My husband? -- He went to the theologically-challenged place.'

'Wow! It didn't take long to lose that new ark smell.'

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."