Religion Teachers Gifts

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"Well, we needed the rain."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'Wow! It didn't take long to lose that new ark smell.'

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

Guru.

Moses as a child.

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."