Religion Teachers Pillows

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"The hyenas started it."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Well, we needed the rain."

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

Moses as a child.

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

'Wow! It didn't take long to lose that new ark smell.'

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

"So, if the Pope is pious, what kind of pie is he... apple?"