Religion Teacher Pillows

'Fish and bread? That's it? Seriously?'

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

'They like the manna, but they're afraid you're fattening them up for something.'

'There are Jews, and then there are the JEWS who-turn-the- other-cheek.'

'What did Cane say to his brother?'

'I'm not complaining or anything, but these are going to be really hard on our self-esteem!'

"So, David. Do you have a permit for that weapon?"

Jesus breaks the bread.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"Well, we needed the rain."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'Wow! It didn't take long to lose that new ark smell.'

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"