Religion Satire Seeker Gifts

"Uh oh! I just remembered we were supposed to pick up the midwife."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"It was better before God took up knitting."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

How's my sermon. . .

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

Bishops Snooker

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

Phone Hacking Explained - 50 p.

Gates of heaven

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

Fish Baptism is by full emersion

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

'All the tellers are nuns.'

Scandalous! The Germans are occupying the best places on the beach!

"The Brother printer is out of ink."