Religion Satire Seeker Pillows

"Uh oh! I just remembered we were supposed to pick up the midwife."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

How's my sermon. . .

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

Bishops Snooker

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

Phone Hacking Explained - 50 p.

Gates of heaven

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

Scandalous! The Germans are occupying the best places on the beach!

'All the tellers are nuns.'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

'Have you got anything for omnipotence?'

IOUs In The Church Collection Plate