Religious Satire Gifts

Bishop using curling irons on his staff.

"Would it have killed him to put in a basketball hoop?!"

"I've been impersonating members of the clergy."

Holy Water/Holy S**t

New! Stick-on Stigmata

Wordilly Durdillies - One more day,God thought, and I'll call it a week.

Jurassic Ark

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

A surprise in heaven

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"Freshly ground pepper?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

Christian and Born again Christian...

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

How's my sermon. . .

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

Bishops Snooker

How James and John became known as "Sons of Thunder".

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."