Religious Satirist Gifts

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

The Encyclopedia of Job

Adam and Eve Food Truck

"Then, each month, you'll receive a new set of commandments. Cancel anytime and keep the first set, absolutely free."

Vicarage - Beware of the Dogma.

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

"...And the person who put the Euro coin in the collection plate last week,may you burn in hell."

'The puritans enjoy a real good laugh'

'I've decided to give up Lent.'

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

How's my sermon. . .

Preaching to the inverted.

'A Chastity Ring? - How does that work then?'

After a rare sighting, a string of phrases is born,

"Care to sign a petition to have a 'balanced budget' as the eleventh commandment?"

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

'Holy Father, a request from Mr. Berusconi. Can the Vatican lend Italy a few billion Euros?'

"For Lent you should give up the other parts of your religion."

Religious Dad, "And the child that is born on the Sabbath day is bonny and blithe and thoroughly heterosexual."

Curate tells two miners that he hopes to see them on Sunday. They reply that he is welcome to come fighting with them if he likes.

'No, I'm not going to go back to ask for a little more wiggle room.'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

'Pirated commandments? Already?'

'Your car will be ready in a minute...the mechanic is saying the last rites now.'

'No, they're NOT meant ironically!'

"Moses carried forty pound tablets down the mountain with no back brace? Where was OSHA?"

'HE was right you know.'

'And He sayeth unto me, 'Behold this second set of my commandments, rendered in stone, large-print edition...''

"Naturally when you told me you had a couple of tablets to help us through life...I thought..."

"Year 40 in the desert...Moses loses it."

"It's a case of mistaken identity."

"'Host' and Cheese?"

In Which Donald Trump Gets down on His Knees and Prays