Religion And Satire Lover Gifts

'Here are your new vestments. No problem with the 'vow of silence', brother?'

...And on the 9th day He created Chicken Nuggets.

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

Ghostwriting the Bible

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Yes, all at once!'

A surprise in heaven

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

Fish Baptism is by full emersion

Church restrooms

Gates of heaven

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

'All the tellers are nuns.'

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

'He may be the Messiah, but he's no Springsteen.'

Does this mean we lose our security deposit?

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"