Religion Riddler Gifts

'Sorry, wrong John we are looking for a Baptist not a Methodist.'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

"Holy Mackerel!"

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

Pastoring for Dummies

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

Best Seller of All Times...The Holy Bible:'No fair. You're creating your own readers.'

'To be honest, I have my doubts about these modern dress versions.'

"If your computer crashes alone in a forest, and no one complains, does IT respond?"

Louie Louie Lyrics Challenge. Louie Louie, oh baby, we gotta go. Then what? Every night and day a ladle of me: Back of a girl all cuddly. On a gym that brings me there: A girl with a rose in her hair. Makes sense? Ladle of me? Ladle?! HOJ.

"Due to a breakdown in communication, 'Nilla Wafers' will be used for the communion service."

'You can lead a horse to water, Ezra, but you can't...?'

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

"Why did you become a crusader? You don't even go to church."

"Remember now, this is for your Birthday AND for Christmas!"

"I hear we went platinum."

The British Society of Campanology...

"Mr Shamani co-ordinates boardroom rituals."

No caption. (Friar wears a cross and the chord leads to his ears as it does with a MP3 player.)

"I think it means this is how they treat you 'In Rhode Island'."

'We're trying a more holistic approach to our surgeries.'

Christmas Scene: Wise man with poor vision offering a gift to a sheep.

Copyright 1340 B.C. God (Moses)

Pope Francis

Do you believe in serial monogamy? I did until I found out it wasn't spelled "cereal."

The Ask Sadie Marathon continues. Real readers ask read questions, but with a twist … Thumpa thumpa. Thumpa thumpa rumpa. The Ask Sadie Marathon, now with house music. I'm gonna thumpa thumpa rumpa rumpa. Uh oh, format change. Thumpa rumpa thumpa rumpa THUMPA THUMPA.

"Frankly, I'd rather be crossing the road."

Milk Of The Word

Moses parts the sea to discover shopping trolleys at the bottom.

"How much weed killer would it take to kill my husband?... Er, I mean ten square metres of weeds?"