Riddler Gifts

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"Ey, Zoltan! Come in and fiddle around in here tonight."

"By the time we'd lobbied the government, got planning permission, raised capital, put the job out to tender and built it we didn't need it any more!"

"If your computer crashes alone in a forest, and no one complains, does IT respond?"

'I haven't gotten to your story yet. I'm laughing at your resume.'

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

"We should be careful, where there's a baby Pope the mother can't be far away."

Ding dong merrily on us!

"It's the wrong type of tracks on the snow."

Hear those Sleigh bells ringing...

"Your AI needs fine tuning -- your algorithm ain't got no rhythm."

Whatever it is I usually think about.

Hillbilly.

Spinning Violinist

"Yeah, that's Bob. . . he kinda misunderstood the whole 'freeze yourself for the winter' thing. . ."

'The NHS is completely 'patient focussed'...and we have the paperwork to prove it.'

"He thinks you're playing fetch."

'Sorry, wrong John we are looking for a Baptist not a Methodist.'

"If you are back by December pop into the corner shop and bring me a Christmas pudding."

'Gesundheit.'

"Frankly, I'd rather be crossing the road."

Alcoholic Violinists

'Sorry I'm late - my shoe lace snapped!'

'Man, I hate walking down so many stairs!'

Man in office notices file cabinet placed in front of the door to the Planning Department.

'I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.'

"How much weed killer would it take to kill my husband?... Er, I mean ten square metres of weeds?"

'He's too grumpy for Dad - he must be Grandad!'

"No, this is first class."