Humorous Riddler Gifts

"If your computer crashes alone in a forest, and no one complains, does IT respond?"

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

Drunken singers in a public house

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

101 uses of a dead cat: rollerskates

'The reason I'm paid fifty times more is because I think I'm worth it.'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

'I haven't gotten to your story yet. I'm laughing at your resume.'

Jesus Fish

'Where did you learn to sing in double-Dutch?'

"We outsourced our joyless TV dinners to a delightful couple from next door."

You didn't tell me it was iTheatre...

'Look, you still owe us 17 cents.. if you sweep up my office we'll call it even.'

'Sorry, wrong John we are looking for a Baptist not a Methodist.'

Turkey Baster

A castawy sees a ship comiing closer and is excited by the prospect of rescue - but the ship plows right through the middle of his island.

'first it was bankruptcy,then I totaled my four-wheeler,then my marriage.Now the magic has gone out of casting.'

"Why..... Why, why Delilah? Because she was no good for me"

"I miss indoor dining"

Express Confessional: Six Sins or Less

What your acoustic guitar says about you

'Do you have a booking, sir?'

"Frankly, I'd rather be crossing the road."

The incapacity benefits people want you to give them a ring...'

"I contributed a lot to charity when I thought I was going to die."

'Ask Jesus to stop multiplying bread and fishes...it's the plates what we need now.'

"For Lent you should give up the other parts of your religion."

'I can't see a damn thing -- can you tell me what I've got?'