Humorous Riddler Pillows

"If your computer crashes alone in a forest, and no one complains, does IT respond?"

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

Drunken singers in a public house

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

Spring has arrived, the flowers they bloom. The birds start to sing a happier tune. Everything's great! I'm reborn and free! THUNK! Except from winter's potholes swallowing me.

Thanksgiving Turkey Fortune: "Why the silence?"

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

101 uses of a dead cat: rollerskates

'The reason I'm paid fifty times more is because I think I'm worth it.'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

'I haven't gotten to your story yet. I'm laughing at your resume.'

Louie Louie Lyrics Challenge. Louie Louie, oh baby, we gotta go. Then what? Every night and day a ladle of me: Back of a girl all cuddly. On a gym that brings me there: A girl with a rose in her hair. Makes sense? Ladle of me? Ladle?! HOJ.

'Where did you learn to sing in double-Dutch?'

Jesus Fish

"We outsourced our joyless TV dinners to a delightful couple from next door."

You didn't tell me it was iTheatre...

'Look, you still owe us 17 cents.. if you sweep up my office we'll call it even.'

Peter denies Jesus three times.

Turkey Baster

'Sorry, wrong John we are looking for a Baptist not a Methodist.'

A castawy sees a ship comiing closer and is excited by the prospect of rescue - but the ship plows right through the middle of his island.

Express Confessional: Six Sins or Less

Do you believe in serial monogamy? I did until I found out it wasn't spelled "cereal."

'first it was bankruptcy,then I totaled my four-wheeler,then my marriage.Now the magic has gone out of casting.'

"I miss indoor dining"

What your acoustic guitar says about you

"Why..... Why, why Delilah? Because she was no good for me"

'Do you have a booking, sir?'

The Ask Sadie Marathon continues. Real readers ask read questions, but with a twist … Thumpa thumpa. Thumpa thumpa rumpa. The Ask Sadie Marathon, now with house music. I'm gonna thumpa thumpa rumpa rumpa. Uh oh, format change. Thumpa rumpa thumpa rumpa THUMPA THUMPA.

"Frankly, I'd rather be crossing the road."

The incapacity benefits people want you to give them a ring...'

"I contributed a lot to charity when I thought I was going to die."

'Ask Jesus to stop multiplying bread and fishes...it's the plates what we need now.'

"For Lent you should give up the other parts of your religion."