Relationship Riddlers Pillows

"How much weed killer would it take to kill my husband?... Er, I mean ten square metres of weeds?"

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

She - Interpreter - He.

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

Sulk Shows

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

"Dammit Harold, you know I hate that mask!"

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

"Are you going to ask for feedback every time you cook a meal?"

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

"I need to know if you're really serious about our relationship."

Complaining cricket wives

Dating the efficiency expert.

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

'The trouble with Nigel is that he's so changeable. One minute I love him and the next minute I loathe him.'

"How much is this going to cost me?"

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

"It's not what you think."

'Whenever he feels under attack, he calls for backup.'