Relationship Giggler Pillows

'This is the third time you've gone to the bathroom tonight. Are you seeing another woman in there?'

The Busy Gardener

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy'. You in?"

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

"Garden variety allergies."

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Beginning Yarder.

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Yard Sale

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"Are you going to ask for feedback every time you cook a meal?"

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

"How much is this going to cost me?"

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

Balding gnomes