Relationship Giggler Pillows

'This is the third time you've gone to the bathroom tonight. Are you seeing another woman in there?'

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy'. You in?"

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"Garden variety allergies."

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

Hardy Annuals

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Beginning Yarder.

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Yard Sale

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"Are you going to ask for feedback every time you cook a meal?"

"What are you in for?"

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

Balding gnomes

Complaining cricket wives